Yeah, it bothers me at times, but I just get on with my life the best I can.

Yeah, the babysitting age is around 13, somewhere arounf there, but I don't trust my younger siblings to watch the babies. Twin boys at the age of four are a lot to handle. Ayla (The 13 year old) Babysits when I can not, but even then she can't be depended upon that much. She can't watch them for more than a couple hours a day.

My Dad is curently out of town for work. He had to take over a job that another man failed to do, so he had to step in and take over, so he's gone every week. I only see him on Saturdays and Sunday's, so my mom can't work. The job ends in January, so he will be gone until then, and we're getting really close to losing our house now. We just can't afford it anymore along with everything else. My mom and Step Dad might actually be getting a divorce soon too, and then we will really be broke because right now we're just barly surviving on my Step-Dad's paycheck, because my real dad doesn't pay any child support. So I really don't know what to do. We can't lose our house because of all of the kids, and it might be selfish, but I don't want to move because I'm half way done with getting my Associates degree. (I'm in an early college program) And if I move, I will lose all of thatm and I might even have to repeat a year of high school. They let me skip two years of high school english, so if I have to move I lose the College english credits I have and I'll have to go down to H.S english. = Everything is so messed up right now.

I don't think any of your questions are rude :)

My mom isn't the perfect person in my eyes, far from it actually, but my mom is doing the best she can. She's been through two verbally/ mentally abusive relationships, and it's caused her a lot of health issues, so I understand she needs her space and time to relax, sometimes I get mad at her though because I am very "Children come first" oriented, and it makes me upset when she does things out of selfishness, but I am still young, so it might be the complete opposite of that and that's just how I see it.

I do get burned out eventually. Not because of the responsibilities I have at home, but because of all of the person things I have going on at the same time. 2 day's before my birthday my ex boyfriend tried to kill himself, and I was on the phone with him during it all. (He overdosed on sleeping pills and was talking really weird while I was on the phone, and I eventually got his mom to check on him) And then he was harrasing me for the next two days and eventually on my Birthday, the 18th, I had a panic attack at school and I just lost it. I had never cried in front of my friends until that day. Some birthday, eh?

(sorry for the long replies, I just feel better when I talk about everything)

Oh sweetie,

My heart goes out to 'you'. For now, and many years to come it will not bother you (having to be responsible for all these kids that you did not have & having parents to shove their responsiblity on you). However, at some point in your life- it will.

The more responsible we are, the more responsibility others will shove on us.

Here in NC, one can babysit at age 13 (if I'm remember correctly). It maybe age 12.

So, your parents need to have a serious talk with their 13 & 11 year old children about doing some 'babysitting'. And, what are your dad's working hours? Is he home in the evenings? Why can't mom work when dad is home?

Now, to 'you' I know you are thinking 'how rude' me to be asking you this. At this point in your life, your mom is still the most perfect person in the world & is a 'saint'. How do I know this? Been there, done that !!

Why am I asking this? Well sweetie, with all this stress & responsibility you will become 'burned out'. Some of the responsiblities need to be shared. Your older siblings found a way 'to get out of it'. Wow, why didn't I think of that. I know, I felt sympathy for my parents. The only problem with being compassionate is people take advantage of you.

But, since I am probably your parents age (more than likely older than them), I can 'talk'. They can't give me the 'guilt trip'. They cannot pound in me that one bible verse that every parents know (honor thy mother & father). 'My own parents' did a good job at that ! LOL

Ok, back to the point I was making before I got off course here. There needs to be some delegation of duties here. Your other teen/adolescent siblings need to shoulder some of this. Mom & Dad could coordinate schedules so both can work. Its unfair of them to dump 'their responsibilities' on you. They are the ones who had these kids,not you.

I am not a big proponent of 'interventions'. But, sounds like your parents need an 'intervention'. This is so parents can delegate duties equally among siblings.

Best wishes

You and I have a lot in common. I'm not the oldest in ym family though. I have an older brother who is turning 19 and an older sister who is 18, but my sister is away at college, and my mom just can't depend on my older brother.

I started cooking when I was about 6 I think. I used to help my mom out in the kitchen, but once I turned 6 I started cooking dinner on my own. I wasn't asked to then though, I just knew my mom was busy, and my mom was sick for a lot of my childhood, so I helped out as much as I could. I started changing diapers at the same age. When I was 6-9 I only had two younger siblings, so I had to change their diapers all of the time, and now I continue to change diapers :P It doesn't bother me that much, I just get tired of being the "Responsible one" when I have two older siblings. They haven't always did the right thing, and they're going through their "rebellious" stage, which my parents say I have skipped completely, so I get stuck with everything because they can't seem to handle the pressure and 2., my parents just don't trust them. Last time my brother was watching the babies the youngest broke her arm, and the last time my sister watched them she punched a hole in the wall. Which we have yet to aford to fix. I'm not saying I'm perfect, there's been things to happen when I've watched them, but nothing as severe as that.

I just wish my older siblings were more responsible so everything wouldn't be on me. When my parents have to go out of town for the weekend, I'm stuck with all 7 kids, and honestly it doesn't bother me that much, but they act up way too much when my parents aren't here.

I've never gotten into trouble for hitting my siblings. Oddly. I am allowed to spank them when they do something wrong as punishment, but other than that I don't hit them at all. Since I've helped raise them, I am a "Mommy" figure in their eyes too. for the longest time the two four year olds called me mommy.

I'm trying to not get my hopes up just yet, but I think we might be doing a little better soon. If my mom can get the day care assistance then she can work during the day. We wouldn't qualify for food stamps anymore, but I don't think we'll need it if my mom is working. She has a friend that told her about a cleaning job on Monday's and Thursday's cleaning a local church. There's no set hours, just as long as you get it clean, and the pay is $100 a week, which isn't bad for just 2 days a week. Besides, how dirty can churches get? I told my mom to say yes to the woman and I'll watch the kids while she does that, or I can go it, either way. I just hope we both can get a job. I really need one. I've got a lot ofs tuff I need to pay for ig, College fees, books, required field trips, etc. And it would help out a lot if I had some way to make money.

Hello

My mom being from a large family had many jobs. When she was young she helped out with canning etc. When her sister and husband couldn't find place to live or work or housing it has been so long and all are gone. My Aunt Marie left her baby at Grandma's house and my mom being 12 yrs old raised him and my her brother who was one just  like they were her own. It is a hard life when you live with a big family as my mom did and it is a hard life whenever children are envolved. 

As for me as a kid I worked around the house with my sister but I was the first one up so I did most of the chores so I could have fun. I worked making money when I was 16 on. 

Oh sweetie,

I too, am the 'oldest child'. Of course, I'm much older than you (in my late 40's). I'm the oldest of 5 siblings. We are the kids of the same parents. My parents were married for a long time, till my dad passed away.

Being the oldest, you get alot of responsibility. Whether, you want it or not. LOL

This is my resume of being the oldest:

(1) became the family 'DISHWASHER' when I was around 6, I think. I maintained that  'job' until I left home as a young adult.

(3) Mother's helper at age 3 or 4. My 'job' included helping with my little sisters; help feeding sister; help change diapers when Mom wasn't feeling well; help 'nurse' Mom one time when she had a fever. I loved this job because I felt like a "BIG GIRL".

(4) Beginning around age 7 up, my 'job' responsibities increased. I was now changing diapers all the time for my baby brothers. Help with feeding, taking care of them. This is a job that I got tired of. However, one does not have the option of telling your parents to 'take this job and shove it'.

(5) Later, I became the 'automatic' babysitter. This entailed taking care of sisters & brothers who would become total 'brats' when mom & dad left the house.

(6) When my siblings would hit me & if I hit them back, they would run crying to my parents 'she hit me'. I would explain to my parents that they hit me not only first, but several times.

* I can't tell you how many times that I had to hear those dreaded words: "YOU'RE THE OLDEST, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW BETTER".

(7) The older I got the more responsibility I got. Now, I didn't like to cook. And, since I was the dishwasher I didn't have too. Luckily for me, both my parents loved to cook & very good at it. My siblings took in interest in learning from my parents. Not me ! 

When I became an adult, they were all suprised that I am a 'pretty good cook.'

Being the oldest when parents had financial problems,etc., I worried myself always trying to think of solutions. Got paying jobs & helped Mom out.

Being the oldest was a very tiring job. But, there is no 'early' retirement from this UNPAID position. You get to retire only when you leave home.

I love my family very much. I love my Mother. My Dad is deceased. I love my siblings very much.

 I do wish there was a 'retirement plan' or 'reward' for being the oldest.

I am so sorry that you have this same 'job'.

Wish you the best

I hope things start looking better. My mom and I might be able to get a job from a friend of ours, but we just have to figure out what we can do with the babies while we work. We're looking into Day Care assistance so my mom can get a job, but if her income goes up then we might not qualify for Food Stamps anymore, but I think if we can both work then we really wont need the Food Stamps.

It is all a burden, but I've wasn't a child for long, so this is all I really know. I've been raising children since I've been one myself. Started cleaning and washing dishes by hand when I was four. It's just how I've always been. I'm not too upset about it, I just hate seeing my siblings having to do the same. I'm trying to help my parent's take care of them so they can have the childhood I did not have.

Oh sweetie,

You are most welcome. I hope things work out for your family. I am just so sorry that you are having to take on the burdens that grown-ups created.

I honestly haven't even thought about that!

That's one thing that bothered us too, Day care expenses would be more than my mom would actually make if she were to get a job. I'll have to tell her about that.

Thank you so much :)

Try:

http://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/north_​carolina 

  www.rentassistance.us/st/north_carolina

www.rentassistance.us

http://www.lookingtohelpyou.com/North_Carolina_​Resources.html 

 www.crisisassistance.org/​index.php?src=gendocs&ref=Emergency

www.countyncnews.com/northcarolina/hoke-​hud.php 

www.portal.hud.gov/.../page/portal/HUD/​topics/rental_assistance 

 www.north-carolina.aidpage.com

http://www.wakegov.com/humanservices/economic/​assistance/

www.ibiblio.org/rcip/assist.html

http://www.singlemomfinancialhelp.com/.../​north-carolina

 www.nc.thebeehive.org/.../help-rent-and-​utilities 

Hope these help you good Luck and God Bless 

Have you Mom contact DSS for assistance with daycare for the 4,4,& 2 year old & the 6 year old if that child is not in school. They normally have a program for daycare assistance so the mother can work. The other kids should be in class during the day. DSS may be able to help with aftercare programs for the older kids too.

Wish you the best

Aww..sweetie,

You are so young & shouldn't be worried about these type problems.

Darling,how old are all of your other siblings?

Hope things getter better for you & your family.

Hello

Have you tried getting any assistance from calling 211 for temporary cash assistance or WIC program depending on the ages of the children?

Usuallly people try 

https://www.naca.com/index_main.jsp

to help with saving your home but I believe people are working - still check it out using internet explorer. 

http://www.freemedicalcamps.com/vcity.php?stateid=NC

free medical clinics and dental clinics for your state and then

CLICK HERE

for food banks in North Carolina

I wish you the best and I know it would be hard but I would take moving in the with the relatives if no one can find work or can work - I feel for you all

Take care

Starshine